You were exactly one week old on Halloween, but rest assured that your newness and our sleep deprivation didn't stop us from dressing you up. You see, Daddy and I love Halloween. Before our friends started having babies, we used to dress up and go to parties. So it shouldn't come as a real surprise that Daddy had your costume before you were even born! And it shouldn't come as a surprise that, of course, we dressed you in something geeky.
That's right, for your first Halloween, you were Princess Leia! And an ADORABLE one at that! But we didn't just torture you, we tortured Winston as well. He HATES wearing the Chewbacca jacket, but it's so awesome, how can you not do it to him?!
And of course we had to get a picture of the two Leias!
Your cousin Michael came over, our only trick or treater, in fact. When you're old enough, we'll take you to a neighborhood that actually gets activity, but that's a few years down the road.
All in all, I'd say it was a pretty darn adorable first Halloween!
We brought your home from the hospital today. We were excited to introduce you to your brother and sister. They reacted exactly as we thought they would - Leia didn't really care, and Winston immediately loved you. Do we know them or what?!
Before bed we gave you a bath. You didn't like it. At all. I think it's because we couldn't submerge you in the water because we had to keep your umbilical cord dry, and you were cold.
I'm thankful that we live in an age of technology where we can capture these moments and share them with you. I don't know of any videos of me as a baby, and I know of only one of Daddy. I don't want you to grow up wondering what you were like as a baby, thus I'm doing all of this for you. And, maybe for Daddy and me too, so we can look back and reminisce...
It's really November 5th as I write this, and you're sleeping peacefully right next to me, but to talk to you about the day you were born, better post date it to the day (and time!) you were born.
We slept decently that night, Daddy better than me. I set the alarm for 340am, because I wanted to shave my legs and make sure I was clean and sparkly for everyone who would be seeing my nakedness during the hospital stay. We got ready, packed the last minute stuff, and left the house a little after 5am. It was a little chilly out, and the foggiest I've seen it in a long time, but granted, I'm not usually out of the house at 5am!
We arrived at the hospital and walked up to Labor and Delivery, checking in right at 530am. We were greeted with happy smiles by night shift, who walked Daddy and me to the pre-op room, which, because I work with absolutely amazing people, was decorated beautifully just for us!
I changed into a gown and Danyel, our very good friend and the nurse we hand picked to take care of us during your delivery, got me ready for surgery.
Finally, it was 730am, and time for us to go to the operating room. I wasn't nervous, because I knew I was in the best hands possible, since I work with the people I chose to take care of us. I went with Danyel and Daddy waited with your Grandmas and Grandpas until it was time for him to join us. Given that this is what I do for a living, it was totally surreal to be the patient. I knew what was going to happen and what was happening based on what people were saying, and experiencing things first hand I've only ever just told patients about was just weird, but in a very cool way because I knew it was all leading up to meeting you.
I got the spinal, which made me super numb super fast. They laid me down on the table, and put the catheter into my bladder. They prepped and draped me for surgery, and Daddy came in, sitting on a stool right by my head. They made the incision at 745am. Not long after I heard them say, "Manuel, stand up." Daddy stood up and looked over the drape and watched as they pulled you from my tummy - our much desired, much anticipated, much loved baby girl born at 747am. Daddy bent down to me and said, "She's beautiful!"
The next thing I know, someone said, "Jess, look to your left." I did, and there you were. I laid eyes on you for the first time and fell in love deeper and faster than I ever knew was possible. There are no words to describe that feeling. You were perfect. And beautiful. And Daddy and I made you. And I grew you and kept you safe and healthy. And I birthed you. And I would do anything for you.
I got to hold you skin to skin for a bit before they took you to the warmer to clean you up, assess you, and weigh and measure you. It was easily one of the best moments of my life - meeting you, holding you, touching you, kissing you for the first time.
You can see in Daddy's eyes that he's pretty darn in love and happy too.
You were born on Friday, October 24th, 2014 at 747am. You weighed in at 7 pounds, 1 ounce, and measured 19 inches long. Your Apgars were 8 and 9.
I deliver babies for a living, as does everyone in that room that day, and we'll all be the first to tell you that newborn babies aren't always cute. In fact, the vast majority aren't; they're born looking like old men. Of course Daddy and I thought you were the cutest baby on the planet, but in truth, so did everyone else who saw you, and I know they wouldn't have said so if they didn't really mean it.
While they finished the surgery and cleaned me up, Daddy got to introduce you to your Grandmas and Grandpas for the first time.
We spent an hour or so in recovery, where we loved on you and tried to wrap our heads around this whole baby and parenthood thing.
We eventually moved over to post partum, where, again thanks to awesome co-workers, we had the biggest private room on the unit.
After a relatively uneventful recovery and hospital stay, we went home to start our life as a family of three on Monday afternoon.
So far this new life is better than we could have imagined. You are amazing and make us so very happy.
39 weeks today! This is the last full day I'll have a baby in my belly, and I admit that I'll miss it. I love the look of my round belly, I love the smiles it elicits from complete strangers, I love how Daddy hasn't missed a single night of talking to you, but mostly though, I love feeling you move. Sure, it's not always comfortable when you push your head into my ribs or your feet into my butt, but it's you, and feeling you move around and get comfortable in there makes me smile.
This is my view as I see you today. It's mind blowing to think that I sustained your life for 39 weeks, kept you safe, grew you healthy. Of all of my accomplishments in life, you are the one I am proudest of.
Mommy and Daddy chose to spend the night before you came not out on the town, having a fancy dinner, relishing our last moments as just us, but instead, we surrounded ourselves with family, the people we love the most, because in life, THAT is what's important. I hope you learn to agree with me on that.
I've never known a baby who's more wanted, anticipated, and loved. Not only from the people pictured above, but from all of our other family and friends. I can't wait until the day you realize what an amazing blessing you are, Harper.
So as you make your grand entrance into this world via scheduled c-section tomorrow morning around 730 am, know that these faces will be your greeting committee. We're so ready to meet you, baby girl.
We figured out at my doctor's appointment last Friday that my blood pressures are good and nothing to worry about, so obviously you didn't get induced this week.
Yesterday you turned 38 weeks!
How did we celebrate, you ask? By going to Labor and Delivery because I thought maybe my bag of water had broken. I woke up to go to the bathroom at 3am, and after returning to bed, I felt wet. It wasn't an obvious gush, I just felt wet in general. So I got up and cleaned and went back to bed, and sure enough, after a while, I felt wet again. After trying to figure it out on my own for 35 minutes or so and still not being 100% sure, I texted my doctor, who told me to come in. After showering and throwing the last minute stuff in the hospital bag, Daddy and I got there just a tad before 5am. They were expecting us and got us in a room right away. You were playing hide and seek with the nurse who was trying to put you on the monitor, little stinker! She finally found you, and your heartbeat was beautifully reactive the whole time we were there. They did a test to see if my water was broken and checked my cervix - which was only a fingertip dilated, still thick, and you weren't even engaged in my pelvis yet! Given that unfavorable cervical exam, I was relieved the test came back negative, saying the water hadn't broken. Daddy and I were out of there an hour after we checked in. We stopped to get breakfast on the way home, then went back to bed with nice full bellies. I love full belly sleeping, even if it's bad for you.
Today we had a regularly scheduled appointment to check on you, but also an ultrasound to estimate your weight, since my tummy has been measuring a few weeks ahead with the tape measure (because I'm chubby with belly fat to begin with.) As you've been doing for the entire pregnancy, you measured exactly what your gestational age is, and they estimated you weigh 7 pounds 3 ounces. Your heart rate was 153 beats per minute. My amniotic fluid level is 7, which is on the low end of normal, but nothing to be worried about. According to the ultrasound, you're perfectly happy and healthy in my belly.
But the ultrasound did reveal something we weren't expecting - YOU'RE BREECH! You are your Mommy's daughter; I have absolutely no sense of direction either, so you come by it honestly that you're in there upside down. After a bit of discussion with Daddy and the doctor, we decided to do a cesarean section, and scheduled it for next Friday, October 24th at 7:30am. I contacted the anesthesiologist and nurse I want to take care of us, and they're 100% on board. That's one of the perks of working where I'll be delivering you - I can hand pick everyone and make sure we're given the best care available.
You'll be 39 weeks and 1 day, and totally ok to join us on this side of the world. While it's not what we planned, Daddy and I are ok and are relieved that, unless my water breaks or I go into labor in the next week, we know when you're coming; there's no more unknown. We have a plan and a date and know when to expect you, and in all honestly, we couldn't be more excited. I keep looking at Daddy and saying, "This time next week, she'll be in our arms!"
For my first birthday, Aunt Janet gave me my Teddy, who, I'm only a little ashamed to admit I still sleep with at the age of 36+ years. After 35+ years of love, you can probably guess that my Teddy is the one on the left.
Last night, Aunt Janet gave you your own Teddy, which I think is a beautiful, touching, full circle gift. I hugged her long and hard and only cried a little.
Rest assured, Harper's Teddy, my Teddy once looked like you - white, and clean, with soft fur all over his body. If you're lucky though, Harper will love you the way I love my Teddy, and in time, everyone who looks at you will know how loved you are. Because Margery Williams said it best when she wrote The Velveteen Rabbit: "Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Here's to hoping you love your Teddy enough to make him Real, my sweet girl.
I love you,
Mommy
UPDATE: April 28, 2022 We had been promising you a stuffed animal from the Disney Store for a while, and we finally made it happen. Your favorite movie at the time was Monsters Inc, so we told you we'd get you a Sulley.
PICTURE
As it turns out, Sulley is your very most favorite, and he is well on the road to becoming Real.
One of my favorite things about being pregnant is feeling you move. It's kind of weird, when you think about it - a person moving inside of me - but also really freaking cool. I got some video of you having hiccups. It's subtle, but you can see it if you watch closely.
As eager as I am to meet you, I'm going to miss this part of the process. I can't wait to share in your pregnancy adventures with you - but only after you've graduated college and have a good job. See, I'm in Mommy mode already!
It looks like you might be coming to us sooner rather than later, a thought that both excites and terrifies me. I'm excited for obvious reasons - I absolutely cannot wait to meet you, see what you look like, hold you in my arms, give you kisses, and have you meet everyone who loves you so much already. I'm terrified because life as I know it is going to dramatically change, which I've had 36 weeks to prepare for, but I'm not sure I can ever really prepare myself until it happens. I just want nothing more than to do the best by you. You deserve nothing less.
My blood pressures are borderline high. My feet and my hands are swollen, and I occasionally have mild headaches. I had a set of labs drawn yesterday, and they were completely normal, which is awesome, so right now I'm just diagnosed with gestational hypertension and not pre-ecclampsia. Since nobody is entirely sure why this happens to some women, there was nothing I could have done to prevent it, and nothing I can do to fix it.
At the appointment with my doctor today we discussed all of this and made a plan. I'll monitor my blood pressures until my appointment next week. If they stay just borderline high and don't start getting crazy high, we'll do another set of labs to see if the pre-ecclampsia is developing or not. If it's not, we'll likely induce you the week of the 13th (once my doctor gets back into town) with the logic that it's best to get you out while everything's ok and not give anything bad a chance to develop. You'll be solidly in your 37th week at that point, so there are no worries about your health.
Daddy is worried about us, but luckily I'm a labor and delivery nurse and know what to look for to see if things are headed in a bad direction. I promised him tonight that I wouldn't let it get to a bad place - I love him too much to risk taking you and me away from him, and I love you too much to not be here for you. At this stage of the pregnancy, it would be silly not to do what needs to be done to assure we're both safe and healthy. We'll be ok, Harper, I promise.
Here we are, at 36 weeks, only 4 weeks left until your due date! As of yesterday, we're officially in your birthday month - October. I like to call it Harpertober! It's crazy to think that we could very possibly meet you THIS month! Eeeeek!
We're nearly ready for you - the shopping is done, the supplies are gathered, the laundry is washed, the Baby Basics class has been taken, and we have just a few little things left to do to your room. Keep growing strong and healthy, my sweet girl.
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
