As you'll learn, we celebrate with family on Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day (depending on Mommy's work schedule, but I'm still on maternity leave, so yay to having the holidays off and enjoying them with you!)
I taught you all about Santa. Of course you made his Nice list - you're the best baby on the planet!
Your Grandpa Bob and Grandma Molly came to celebrate with you a few days before Christmas.
Grandma Chris bought your Christmas Eve dress. You looked beautiful!
And, in keeping with tradition (started a month before on Thanksgiving!), Daddy and I took a selfie kissing you.
We spent Christmas Eve this year with Daddy's family. Here's a picture of you with your cousin Michael, your Grandma Chris and Abuelito, and your Auntie Cassie.
Your Godparents, Val and Jeremy, sent us ornaments, and the package was waiting for us when we got home Christmas Eve night. I sent them a picture of you with your ornament to let them know they arrived safely. I'm including this photo because it's perfect - you put your hands on the ornament, looked at the camera and smiled. Plus, you look absolutely adorable!
After a bath and putting in your special Christmas jammies, we took a picture of you with the cookies we left out for Santa.
We had a quiet Christmas morning at home, just you, Leia, Winston, Daddy, and me. It was perfect.
Later in the day, we spent time and had dinner with your Grandpa Dave and Grandma Cathy.
In my 36 years of getting Christmas gifts, you are, by far, the best one I've ever received. Here's to many, many more Christmases together!
Two months old... I can hardly believe it. Daddy and I agree - it's been such a short time, but it seems like you've always been here. You're a fun little baby - you talk and smile all the time and even giggled once. You have lots of facial expressions. You have more fussy times than you did the first month, but overall, it's nothing to complain about - you remain an easy going little girl. Your baby acne came this month, started on your forehead and worked its way to your cheeks, neck and the top of your back, but you are still absolutely beautiful. Your eyelashes are so long and are getting thicker and darker. Everyone who sees you, friends, family, and complete strangers, gushes at how precious you are. All of this, of course, Daddy and I already know!
I look forward to continuing to watch you grow and develop and show us who you are. Until next month, my sweet, sweet girl.
You were one day shy of 5 weeks old when we celebrated your first Thanksgiving. Mommy and Daddy looked high and low for some kind of Thanksgiving themed outfit for you to wear, but we were not successful. Until Mommy went shopping with Grandma Chris one evening! Sure, what we found wasn't labeled with anything Thanksgiving themed, but the color was right, and it was cute!
You. Are. ADORABLE, baby girl!
Of all Thanksgivings in my 36 years of existence, I have never been more thankful than I was this year, and all because of you.
Happy one month birthday! I can't believe a whole month has passed. They do say that time flies when you're having fun!
You are an AMAZING baby! You are easy going and mild mannered. You rarely fuss and only cry when you need something - unless we're putting lotion on you after your bath, then you cry like the world is ending. Watching you grow and develop is awesome - you focus on things more, track Mommy and Daddy as we move past you, and respond to our voices. You are a beautiful girl and everyone who sees you is sure to let us know.
I got some of my baby pictures thanks to your GG. I found one that was taken on my one month birthday. I made a collage of the two of us, side by side, each exactly one month old. We could be twins! My photo was taken on March 22, 1978, and yours on November 24, 2014.
Mommy and Daddy love you more and more with each passing day. We marvel at every little thing you do. You have captivated us in a way we never knew was possible. We have never been happier, and it's all because of you, baby girl!
You were exactly one week old on Halloween, but rest assured that your newness and our sleep deprivation didn't stop us from dressing you up. You see, Daddy and I love Halloween. Before our friends started having babies, we used to dress up and go to parties. So it shouldn't come as a real surprise that Daddy had your costume before you were even born! And it shouldn't come as a surprise that, of course, we dressed you in something geeky.
That's right, for your first Halloween, you were Princess Leia! And an ADORABLE one at that! But we didn't just torture you, we tortured Winston as well. He HATES wearing the Chewbacca jacket, but it's so awesome, how can you not do it to him?!
And of course we had to get a picture of the two Leias!
Your cousin Michael came over, our only trick or treater, in fact. When you're old enough, we'll take you to a neighborhood that actually gets activity, but that's a few years down the road.
All in all, I'd say it was a pretty darn adorable first Halloween!
We brought your home from the hospital today. We were excited to introduce you to your brother and sister. They reacted exactly as we thought they would - Leia didn't really care, and Winston immediately loved you. Do we know them or what?!
Before bed we gave you a bath. You didn't like it. At all. I think it's because we couldn't submerge you in the water because we had to keep your umbilical cord dry, and you were cold.
I'm thankful that we live in an age of technology where we can capture these moments and share them with you. I don't know of any videos of me as a baby, and I know of only one of Daddy. I don't want you to grow up wondering what you were like as a baby, thus I'm doing all of this for you. And, maybe for Daddy and me too, so we can look back and reminisce...
It's really November 5th as I write this, and you're sleeping peacefully right next to me, but to talk to you about the day you were born, better post date it to the day (and time!) you were born.
We slept decently that night, Daddy better than me. I set the alarm for 340am, because I wanted to shave my legs and make sure I was clean and sparkly for everyone who would be seeing my nakedness during the hospital stay. We got ready, packed the last minute stuff, and left the house a little after 5am. It was a little chilly out, and the foggiest I've seen it in a long time, but granted, I'm not usually out of the house at 5am!
We arrived at the hospital and walked up to Labor and Delivery, checking in right at 530am. We were greeted with happy smiles by night shift, who walked Daddy and me to the pre-op room, which, because I work with absolutely amazing people, was decorated beautifully just for us!
I changed into a gown and Danyel, our very good friend and the nurse we hand picked to take care of us during your delivery, got me ready for surgery.
Finally, it was 730am, and time for us to go to the operating room. I wasn't nervous, because I knew I was in the best hands possible, since I work with the people I chose to take care of us. I went with Danyel and Daddy waited with your Grandmas and Grandpas until it was time for him to join us. Given that this is what I do for a living, it was totally surreal to be the patient. I knew what was going to happen and what was happening based on what people were saying, and experiencing things first hand I've only ever just told patients about was just weird, but in a very cool way because I knew it was all leading up to meeting you.
I got the spinal, which made me super numb super fast. They laid me down on the table, and put the catheter into my bladder. They prepped and draped me for surgery, and Daddy came in, sitting on a stool right by my head. They made the incision at 745am. Not long after I heard them say, "Manuel, stand up." Daddy stood up and looked over the drape and watched as they pulled you from my tummy - our much desired, much anticipated, much loved baby girl born at 747am. Daddy bent down to me and said, "She's beautiful!"
The next thing I know, someone said, "Jess, look to your left." I did, and there you were. I laid eyes on you for the first time and fell in love deeper and faster than I ever knew was possible. There are no words to describe that feeling. You were perfect. And beautiful. And Daddy and I made you. And I grew you and kept you safe and healthy. And I birthed you. And I would do anything for you.
I got to hold you skin to skin for a bit before they took you to the warmer to clean you up, assess you, and weigh and measure you. It was easily one of the best moments of my life - meeting you, holding you, touching you, kissing you for the first time.
You can see in Daddy's eyes that he's pretty darn in love and happy too.
You were born on Friday, October 24th, 2014 at 747am. You weighed in at 7 pounds, 1 ounce, and measured 19 inches long. Your Apgars were 8 and 9.
I deliver babies for a living, as does everyone in that room that day, and we'll all be the first to tell you that newborn babies aren't always cute. In fact, the vast majority aren't; they're born looking like old men. Of course Daddy and I thought you were the cutest baby on the planet, but in truth, so did everyone else who saw you, and I know they wouldn't have said so if they didn't really mean it.
While they finished the surgery and cleaned me up, Daddy got to introduce you to your Grandmas and Grandpas for the first time.
We spent an hour or so in recovery, where we loved on you and tried to wrap our heads around this whole baby and parenthood thing.
We eventually moved over to post partum, where, again thanks to awesome co-workers, we had the biggest private room on the unit.
After a relatively uneventful recovery and hospital stay, we went home to start our life as a family of three on Monday afternoon.
So far this new life is better than we could have imagined. You are amazing and make us so very happy.
39 weeks today! This is the last full day I'll have a baby in my belly, and I admit that I'll miss it. I love the look of my round belly, I love the smiles it elicits from complete strangers, I love how Daddy hasn't missed a single night of talking to you, but mostly though, I love feeling you move. Sure, it's not always comfortable when you push your head into my ribs or your feet into my butt, but it's you, and feeling you move around and get comfortable in there makes me smile.
This is my view as I see you today. It's mind blowing to think that I sustained your life for 39 weeks, kept you safe, grew you healthy. Of all of my accomplishments in life, you are the one I am proudest of.
Mommy and Daddy chose to spend the night before you came not out on the town, having a fancy dinner, relishing our last moments as just us, but instead, we surrounded ourselves with family, the people we love the most, because in life, THAT is what's important. I hope you learn to agree with me on that.
I've never known a baby who's more wanted, anticipated, and loved. Not only from the people pictured above, but from all of our other family and friends. I can't wait until the day you realize what an amazing blessing you are, Harper.
So as you make your grand entrance into this world via scheduled c-section tomorrow morning around 730 am, know that these faces will be your greeting committee. We're so ready to meet you, baby girl.
We figured out at my doctor's appointment last Friday that my blood pressures are good and nothing to worry about, so obviously you didn't get induced this week.
Yesterday you turned 38 weeks!
How did we celebrate, you ask? By going to Labor and Delivery because I thought maybe my bag of water had broken. I woke up to go to the bathroom at 3am, and after returning to bed, I felt wet. It wasn't an obvious gush, I just felt wet in general. So I got up and cleaned and went back to bed, and sure enough, after a while, I felt wet again. After trying to figure it out on my own for 35 minutes or so and still not being 100% sure, I texted my doctor, who told me to come in. After showering and throwing the last minute stuff in the hospital bag, Daddy and I got there just a tad before 5am. They were expecting us and got us in a room right away. You were playing hide and seek with the nurse who was trying to put you on the monitor, little stinker! She finally found you, and your heartbeat was beautifully reactive the whole time we were there. They did a test to see if my water was broken and checked my cervix - which was only a fingertip dilated, still thick, and you weren't even engaged in my pelvis yet! Given that unfavorable cervical exam, I was relieved the test came back negative, saying the water hadn't broken. Daddy and I were out of there an hour after we checked in. We stopped to get breakfast on the way home, then went back to bed with nice full bellies. I love full belly sleeping, even if it's bad for you.
Today we had a regularly scheduled appointment to check on you, but also an ultrasound to estimate your weight, since my tummy has been measuring a few weeks ahead with the tape measure (because I'm chubby with belly fat to begin with.) As you've been doing for the entire pregnancy, you measured exactly what your gestational age is, and they estimated you weigh 7 pounds 3 ounces. Your heart rate was 153 beats per minute. My amniotic fluid level is 7, which is on the low end of normal, but nothing to be worried about. According to the ultrasound, you're perfectly happy and healthy in my belly.
But the ultrasound did reveal something we weren't expecting - YOU'RE BREECH! You are your Mommy's daughter; I have absolutely no sense of direction either, so you come by it honestly that you're in there upside down. After a bit of discussion with Daddy and the doctor, we decided to do a cesarean section, and scheduled it for next Friday, October 24th at 7:30am. I contacted the anesthesiologist and nurse I want to take care of us, and they're 100% on board. That's one of the perks of working where I'll be delivering you - I can hand pick everyone and make sure we're given the best care available.
You'll be 39 weeks and 1 day, and totally ok to join us on this side of the world. While it's not what we planned, Daddy and I are ok and are relieved that, unless my water breaks or I go into labor in the next week, we know when you're coming; there's no more unknown. We have a plan and a date and know when to expect you, and in all honestly, we couldn't be more excited. I keep looking at Daddy and saying, "This time next week, she'll be in our arms!"
For my first birthday, Aunt Janet gave me my Teddy, who, I'm only a little ashamed to admit I still sleep with at the age of 36+ years. After 35+ years of love, you can probably guess that my Teddy is the one on the left.
Last night, Aunt Janet gave you your own Teddy, which I think is a beautiful, touching, full circle gift. I hugged her long and hard and only cried a little.
Rest assured, Harper's Teddy, my Teddy once looked like you - white, and clean, with soft fur all over his body. If you're lucky though, Harper will love you the way I love my Teddy, and in time, everyone who looks at you will know how loved you are. Because Margery Williams said it best when she wrote The Velveteen Rabbit: "Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Here's to hoping you love your Teddy enough to make him Real, my sweet girl.
I love you,
Mommy
UPDATE: April 28, 2022 We had been promising you a stuffed animal from the Disney Store for a while, and we finally made it happen. Your favorite movie at the time was Monsters Inc, so we told you we'd get you a Sulley.
PICTURE
As it turns out, Sulley is your very most favorite, and he is well on the road to becoming Real.
One of my favorite things about being pregnant is feeling you move. It's kind of weird, when you think about it - a person moving inside of me - but also really freaking cool. I got some video of you having hiccups. It's subtle, but you can see it if you watch closely.
As eager as I am to meet you, I'm going to miss this part of the process. I can't wait to share in your pregnancy adventures with you - but only after you've graduated college and have a good job. See, I'm in Mommy mode already!
It looks like you might be coming to us sooner rather than later, a thought that both excites and terrifies me. I'm excited for obvious reasons - I absolutely cannot wait to meet you, see what you look like, hold you in my arms, give you kisses, and have you meet everyone who loves you so much already. I'm terrified because life as I know it is going to dramatically change, which I've had 36 weeks to prepare for, but I'm not sure I can ever really prepare myself until it happens. I just want nothing more than to do the best by you. You deserve nothing less.
My blood pressures are borderline high. My feet and my hands are swollen, and I occasionally have mild headaches. I had a set of labs drawn yesterday, and they were completely normal, which is awesome, so right now I'm just diagnosed with gestational hypertension and not pre-ecclampsia. Since nobody is entirely sure why this happens to some women, there was nothing I could have done to prevent it, and nothing I can do to fix it.
At the appointment with my doctor today we discussed all of this and made a plan. I'll monitor my blood pressures until my appointment next week. If they stay just borderline high and don't start getting crazy high, we'll do another set of labs to see if the pre-ecclampsia is developing or not. If it's not, we'll likely induce you the week of the 13th (once my doctor gets back into town) with the logic that it's best to get you out while everything's ok and not give anything bad a chance to develop. You'll be solidly in your 37th week at that point, so there are no worries about your health.
Daddy is worried about us, but luckily I'm a labor and delivery nurse and know what to look for to see if things are headed in a bad direction. I promised him tonight that I wouldn't let it get to a bad place - I love him too much to risk taking you and me away from him, and I love you too much to not be here for you. At this stage of the pregnancy, it would be silly not to do what needs to be done to assure we're both safe and healthy. We'll be ok, Harper, I promise.
Here we are, at 36 weeks, only 4 weeks left until your due date! As of yesterday, we're officially in your birthday month - October. I like to call it Harpertober! It's crazy to think that we could very possibly meet you THIS month! Eeeeek!
We're nearly ready for you - the shopping is done, the supplies are gathered, the laundry is washed, the Baby Basics class has been taken, and we have just a few little things left to do to your room. Keep growing strong and healthy, my sweet girl.
I had a little scare yesterday at work. After lunch I started to feel cramping, like uncomfortable menstrual cramps. They weren't super painful, but definitely different and more uncomfortable than the occasional tightening I've been feeling. I spoke up and my co-workers jumped on it, putting me in a room and hooking me up to monitor your heartbeat and any uterine activity I might be having. The doctor checked my cervix and did a test to screen for preterm labor. After 2 hours, this is what we learned: 1) Those labor and delivery beds are really uncomfortable! 2) My cervix was closed, long, and posterior, which tells us that you're held in there pretty securely and not coming out anytime soon. 3) The test to screen for preterm labor was negative. 4) Your heartbeat tracing says you are a happy girl in there, getting all of the oxygen and nutrients you need to continue to grow strong and healthy. Seeing how good your heartbeat looked on the monitor made me so happy, a proud Mommy already! For the whole 2 hours I was in the room, I never turned on the TV; I was perfectly content laying there listening to your heartbeat. It truly is one of the best sounds in the world.
Today marks 32 weeks of pregnancy! Your movements are much bigger than they used to be, probably a combination of you getting bigger, stronger, and running out of room in there. We can see you move from this side of the world, and when I occasionally set things on my belly, you are strong enough to move them when you kick. You get hiccups a lot, which is a good thing, and sometimes we can see those too!
Your room is painted. Your furniture is set up. Your Grandpa Dave is coming over in a little bit to hang your chandelier. We have your curtains, but need to get the rod to hang them. It's a very surreal thing for Daddy and me, setting up a nursery and putting together baby furniture. We wanted you for so very long, and resigned ourselves to the fact that parenthood probably wouldn't happen for us, then you came, making all of our dreams come true. We're enjoying every minute we spend planning for you, organizing and cleaning the rest of the house for you. We've been busy - and still have a lot to do - but you're worth it.
By the way - no gestational diabetes! I can't even tell you how happy I am about this!
Keep growing big and strong and healthy, my sweet girl, and I promise I'll continue to keep you safe until it's time for us to meet.
Leia and Winston (and Orko before him) were our kids before you came along. We called them our fur babies.
We adopted Leia from the SPCA the month after we got married. We brought her home on December 14, 2002, and that's the day we celebrate her birthday each year. Her previous family surrendered her because she escaped the back yard and ate baby diapers. Her name was Lucky, but we changed it to Leia after Princess Leia in the Star Wars movies. They told us she was about 2 when we adopted her. She's an Australian Cattle Dog mix. They were vague on what she's mixed with, but looking at her, you can see there's some Pit Bull in her. She is a SMART dog and very well behaved, despite the fact that she sheds enough for, like, 37 dogs. You'll grow up with her dog hair all over your clothes - get used to it. She'll turn 14 a couple months after you're born. She's still going strong for being an old lady, just losing her hearing. I think she'll be your protector.
We adopted Orko from a breeder in the Fall of 2005. He was an AKC certified Schnauzer that she had purchased for at least $1000 when he was a puppy to use as a stud. When we met him he was 7 years old and losing interest in the ladies, as she called it. She loved him, but wanted him to live the rest of his life as a pet, a life she couldn't offer him with all the other dogs she had. His name was Lady Dusty's Buster Brown and she called him Buster, but we changed it to Orko, after a character in one of Daddy's favorite childhood cartoons, He Man. It took him a while to adjust to being an inside dog, but for the most part he did, even if he did choose to occasionally sleep on a pile of newspapers rather than the comfy dog bed he had. He would let you do anything to him, he was very mild mannered and easy going. In early 2010 he was diagnosed with diabetes, which, after much research and discussion, we decided not to treat because of the financial and time burden on us, as well as the fact that he was already almost 12 years old. He lived a good life until the day before he died, you'd never know he was sick. On April 26th he had two huge seizures, and we decided it was time, so we put him to sleep, one of the most awful experiences of our lives.
In October of 2010 we bought a Schnauzer puppy from a friend's sister, who was selling them at a super low price because she didn't know to get their tails cropped early, and since Schnauzers aren't supposed to have tails, she couldn't sell them for what she wanted. He was born August 31st, and we brought him home on Halloween, at exactly 2 months old. We named him Winston, after the character Winston Wolf in Pulp Fiction. Daddy and I had never had a puppy, but we figured it out, and he's a good boy. He is super playful and has lots and lots of personality. He is a Momma's boy - loves to snuggle me and follows me everywhere. He'll turn 4 a couple months before you're born. I think you're going to be his new snuggle buddy.
We'll always have dogs in the house - they're fun, entertaining, and they'll help teach you about responsibility. Plus, they're a good example for how humans should behave because they give unconditional love.
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