Twelve Months!

Dearest Harper,

Happy first birthday, my beautiful, beautiful girl! I am amazed at the little person you're becoming. You have a little personality - you're so happy and fun. You like to play with your toys, look at your books, play with Mommy and Daddy. You are really good at keeping yourself occupied while Mommy and Daddy watch TV or play video games, or grade papers, or whatever else keeps us busy. You're smart, you know how to play peek-a-boo, you point at the light when we ask you where it is, and although you know the receiver for the TV is off limits, you'll still go over to it, looking at us the whole way, making sure we're watching you do something you're not supposed to. When we tell you no, you stop, look at us, smile, and inch closer. You love emptying drawers - the Tupperware, the dish towels, your shoes, your diapers, Mommy's socks. You're not so good at putting it all back though. You walk really well when you have something to push, but don't quite have the confidence to do it on your own, even though everyone can see that you'd be a-ok if you just did it. You'll do it when you're ready, I'm not worried.

I reached my goal of breastfeeding you for a year! I am so very proud of this I am thankful I have a job that is understanding and accommodating, allowing me breaks to pump since I returned to work in February. My milk, for a while now, hasn't been enough to keep up with you, so thank goodness I froze a bunch in the beginning when it was. I'm going to talk to the pediatrician when we have your 1-year visit and learn everything there is to know about switching you over to cow's milk, but I'm not sure I want to quit breastfeeding altogether. I really enjoy nursing you to sleep, it's good snuggle time, and I think I want to continue that until you're no longer interested.

You are an amazing little girl. You have made this last year an absolute joy. Your easy going and mild mannered nature have made it very easy to be your parents. We were worried that it would be hard to adjust to having a baby in the house, given that we were so long without one, but nope; we've loved every single second. You are the blessing we hoped for for so many years. We love you more than words can even begin to describe. You continue to amaze us, every second of every day. You are everything we longed for, and more. We constantly wonder how we got so lucky to have YOU as our daughter.

Happy birthday, sweet girl.

I love you,

Mommy

Eleven Months!

Dearest Harper,

I KNEW baby signs would be awesome! Every morning when we get you out of your crib, Winston runs in first. You stand up and hit your leg, signing "dog." And one day we were out to lunch, and there was a dog sitting on the patio. It was much bigger and looked completely different than our dogs, but you signed it anyway! There was the time Daddy took you on a walk and you signed it at a bunch of wild turkeys though... You also sign "eat" when we ask you if you're hungry or if you want to eat. A few times you've even come up to us and signed it, telling us you're hungry and want to eat!

You got super sick this month, much worse than the other little colds you've had. Daddy got you up one morning and you cried and cried. You were inconsolable. He called me at work and told me about the crying and this thick, green snot coming out of your nose. I told him to take your temperature but you weren't having it. I told him to call the doctor and take you in, which he did, and you were diagnosed with an ear infection. No wonder you were crying! The picture below is on the way home from the doctor's. Daddy sent it to me and my heart broke. I wanted nothing more than to come home and snuggle you, but Daddy had it under control. We gave you Amoxicillin (which you were a champ at taking!) and after two doses, you started feeling better and acting like your happy self again.

We love you so much and can't believe you've been here for almost a year! The time has flown by! You've made it easy and enjoyable though. Thank you for being such a good baby.

I love you,

Mommy

Ten Months!

Dearest Harper,

All of our work teaching you sign language has finally paid off! You sign "milk" when you're asked if you want it, and it is, hands down, the cutest thing ever. I can't wait until you sign more things; it will make communicating with you so much easier.

Daddy taught you how to give high fives in an afternoon. You're a smart cookie! You give them in your own way though - multiple whacks on the hand, rather than just one. You wave at the baby in the mirror, and at us when you see us. You pull your toys out of the box and give them to us to play with. I play with them like you do - hold them over my head, hit them on things, yell at them, and you watch me, smiling the entire time.

You continue to be the star wherever we go. You are complimented and admired by strangers and family and friends. You're a beautiful little girl, very well behaved, mild mannered, happy, and fun. Keep up the good work, my sweet, sweet girl!

I love you,

Mommy

Nine Months!

Dearest Harper,

You got your second tooth about a week after your first broke through. I thought it was impossible, but your smile is even cuter now with two tiny little white teeth peeking through.

You are getting better and better at feeding yourself little bite sized things - pancake, watermelon, Cheerios. You don't have the thumb and pointer finger pincer grasp yet; instead, you take it in the palm of your hand and slowly open your hand over your mouth. It's not too efficient, half the time the item falls, but like I said, you're getting better at it. What's funny is that you often grab like 3 or 4 things to put in your mouth, which is even messier. Leia and Winston know to sit by you when we feed you now!

You've been pulling yourself up to standing for a while now. Lately you've been walking around the coffee table, and pushing TV trays and walking. We decided that wasn't entirely safe, so we bought you a toy that's meant to help you walk. You got it right away. You're still a little wobbly and occasionally walk sideways like you've been drinking, but like everything, you're getting better and better as you practice.

You continue to be a happy, well behaved little girl. We love to take you out in public because you get so much attention. People are constantly telling us how beautiful you are. They like your hair and eyes/eyelashes the most. Daddy and I constantly wonder how we got so lucky that YOU are our baby girl. I'm beginning to believe that good things do indeed come to those who wait.

I love you,

Mommy

The First Time You Made Me Cry

Dearest Harper,

Let me clarify: I've cried plenty of times since you've come into the world, but all out of love and happiness and wonder over you being here, you being you, you being mine. Today was the first time I cried out of pain, anger, fear.

Your two little bottom teeth are super cute - until you bite me with them. And I wouldn't care so much if you bit my finger or something, but no, you bite my nipples.

The first time it happened I was nursing you at bedtime and you must have been over tired because you were in one of those can't stop crying things you occasionally do. It hurt, sure, but it was also kind of funny, and I posted on Facebook about it. You didn't break the skin and it didn't really hurt beyond the initial bite.

The second time it happened was two days ago. We took you to your first soccer game, and by the time we got home, you were a complete mess because you had only napped about an hour and a half that day. I did a speed bath, skipped the lotion, threw on some jammies, and sat down to feed you. You were in the can't stop crying thing and bit me again. Hard. It hurt - A LOT - and my first reaction was to smack your cheek to make you let go. It was a little slap, and I don't think it would have made you cry if you already weren't. But I still felt bad about it.

That bite broke the skin. It hurts all the time, even just sitting around minding my own business, but mostly when anything touches it, including my clothes and especially when I feed you or pump. Feeding you hurts so much that I've stopped you eating on that side to switch to the other because I can't take it.

So today you were in a great mood, laughing and playful, no crying at all, and I sat down to feed you because it was time. I skipped the side that hurts and started on the other. You were eating well, taking breaks and looking around because you're easily distracted, but this is nothing new. Lately you've been poking at and pinching my nipple during your breaks, exploring, I guess, where your food comes from. It's cute, really. Today you did the same thing, this time including smiling at it because I guess you were happy. You went to eat again and bit it. Again my first instinct was to smack your forehead to get you to let go. You didn't cry, just looked at me. I told you no no no, that you don't bite Mommy, and I put you on the floor. You looked at me and I told you that you hurt me and that you were a bad girl. I know you didn't understand, but I swear there was a little look of sadness in your eyes...

I got up and walked away. I was in pain, and I was pissed at you for doing it, even though I know you didn't mean to. Or maybe you DID mean to, but just because you're exploring, not because you're mean. I felt bad for being mad at you, and I felt REALLY bad for hitting you. So I cried.

And that's that. It may be the first, but I know it won't be the last time you'll make me cry. I'm not writing this to make you feel bad when you eventually read this - you're 8 months old for crying out loud, you're incapable of being a jerk! Mostly I'm writing to get it off my chest.

I love you, with all my heart, even if you bite me.

Mommy

Happy First Fourth of July!

Dearest Harper,

Your Val and other Central Coast family were supposed to come for 4th of July celebrations, but a last minute health emergency kept them from coming, so you, Daddy, and I stayed in. We BBQd and ate really well (you even had a few bites and liked everything!), then did a few fireworks in front of the house.

Of course we had a red, white, and blue dress for you!

And no way are we skipping our tradition of a double smooch!

You tend not to like loud noises - the garbage disposal makes you very nervous and the blender makes you cry - so I had Daddy choose fireworks that weren't super noisy. Just as it was starting to get dark, your Grandma and Abuelito came over, and we did a few fireworks. You were so good, never cried, but were obviously on guard. Funniest of all though, you would not blink while the firework was going!

I can't wait for more 4th of Julys, where you can play with sparklers and truly enjoy the fireworks.

I love you,

Mommy

Eight Months!

Dearest Harper,

It's a funny story how we noticed you got your first tooth. One poker night, a friend of Daddy's mentioned how cute your smile was, and how much cuter it'll be once you have teeth. I told him there were no signs of any teeth coming yet, but laid you down and ran my finger across your bottom gums anyway, just to make sure, and low and behold, I felt something sharp! There it was, you first tooth, and we had no clue! You weren't fussy, you didn't get a fever, you gave no indication at all, except maybe a bit of extra drooling. You're such a tough cookie!

You're all about food. You love to eat - your food AND ours! I share my food with you all the time and so far there hasn't been anything you haven't liked. The only food I've made you that you're not crazy about is the turkey, but if I hide it in cauliflower or butternut squash, you'll eat it no problem. I love making food for you. It's easy and so much fun. It's a bit time consuming, but it's worth it to know that I'm giving you healthy, nutritious, delicious food.

You're turning into a bit of a Mommy's girl... When Daddy gets you up in the morning, you'll play and be content for an hour or so until you fuss because you're hungry. When I get you up in the morning, you cry when I set you down to play. I guess you see the milk wagon, and realize you suddenly can't live without it. Same thing when you're tired and cry, or bonk your head and cry - Daddy can't get you to stop, only Mommy.  It's touching, but I know it hurts Daddy's feeling a little bit. I tell him not to worry about it, that it will change, and eventually you'll want only him.

You're really good at keeping yourself occupied; you'll sit and play for an hour. People have commented how cool that is for a baby your age. It's fun to watch you go through your toy box, specifically choosing the toys you want. You bang them on the ground, shake them, talk to them, and of course put them in your mouth. EVERYTHING goes in your mouth!

You're not signing back to us yet, but we know that you know the signs for "milk" and "eat." We ask you if you want one of them and you get the biggest smile. We've introduced a few new signs, so now we use eat, milk, nap, dog, water, bubbles, and fun regularly. It will be fun one you're able to start communicating with us. As for "talking," you do it a bunch. There's a lot of yelling, and you babble. You say da but not ma. I'm still working on that...

You continue to amaze us every day. You are so beautiful, and happy, and well behaved. Daddy and I mention regularly how absolutely blessed we feel that you are our baby.

I love you,

Mommy